• As my wife did not go-to-hell me but just get-lost-ed me, do I qualify for a Hell Citizen? Answer
• Does Hell Legislation allow Dual Citizenship? Answer
• Are you fooling me? That place does not look like Hell. Answer
• Do you think our country has to become a member of the United Nations? Vote...
• Shall we establish diplomatic relations with the United Nations Member States? Vote...
• What reason brought you here? Vote...
• Do we have to seize the territory of Nowhere and especially its middle? Vote...
• Would you sell your soul for Hell Citizenship? Vote...
q.
Hey, where am I?
A.You are in Hell - the place where you've been told to go to.
q.And what's that to say?
A.That is to say you've been sent to Hell and nothing else.
q.But how could this happen to me?
q.There must be some mistake. How can I go back home?
A.Are you kidding? Who ever heard of coming back from Hell?
q.What shall I do now?
A.Since you are here (and since it will last for life) why don't you debate in your mind about the reasons for the "Go to Hell!" order that you have received? Reconsider your personality and attitude toward others.
P.S.
As this is a Jolly Hell you can also:
- say our polite "Go to Hell!" to everyone who deserves it;
- "Cry me a River"
- get Hellion Citizenship;
- order some Jolly Hell souvenirs.
q.What the hell is this Hell?
A.This is the One and only Hell. Any other places claiming to be Hell are illegal, fake, false, counterfeit, spurious, phony pirate copies.
q.What am I supposed to do if I get into an illegal, fake, false, counterfeit, spurious, phony, pirate copy Hell?
A.Just "Go to Hell!" it.
q.Assuming this is Hell, does it mean the country where I come from is a heaven?
Go...As to "this" - yes, this is The Hell. As concerns "country where I come from" - the only thing we can say is that we appreciate your sense of humor.
q.I'm innocent. Nobody has ever sent me to Hell. I got here accidentally. It's 
's fault. They brought me to you. Can I sue them?
A.Sure you are innocent... from time to time. As to the rest, be advised that nothing happens accidentally. Like we said above, there is no other Hell. Otherwise would not bring you here. Because even search engines show you the way to Hell, you damn well deserve it. Hence you can't sue them for bringing you to the right destination. Instead, you can only praise them.
q.As my wife did not go-to-hell me but just get-lost-ed me, do I qualify for a Hell Citizen?
Well, actually you qualify but... uh... get-lost cases are a bit more complicated. The problem is that "Get lost!" does not bring you to Hell. It sends you somewhere in Nowhere. On the other hand we can't ignore the fact that the number of people lost in Nowhere dramatically goes up. Their hanging there till the end of time is a stupid waste of human potential. That is why a special expedition of ours put a link to Hell in the middle of Nowhere. All you have to do is to look around for the middle. Once you find it you are almost done. Just click on that link. In order to help you we made a satellite Go...photo of Nowhere.
q.Does Hell Legislation allow Dual Citizenship?
A.Yes, it does. Don't worry. We are the most democratic country in the world. We don't mind even if you are a citizen of Heaven, because we are curious to see the someone who can combine Heaven and Hell.
q.I was just about to settle in here when someone sent me to Hell again. How can I go to Hell if I am already in it?
A.Well, we did not want to stress you with bad news right at your arrival, but since you are asking, here is the truth: Every hell has its own hell.
q.Are you fooling me? That place does not look like Hell.
We are very sorry for not being able to meet your expectations. We take your complaint very seriously. That's why we kindly ask you to say what exactly you want us to do in order to make it a real Hell for you.Go...
q.I am outraged. Hell is not what I deserve. Where can I complain?
A.Oh! You wanna cry us a river? Here you are!